About S.P.I.C.E.

About SPICE

What is SPICE? The Spouses' and Partners' International Conference on Education (SPICE) is an opportunity provided by the Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess) for crossdressers and their significant others to understand the crossdressing phenomenon, determine how it can be a constructive part of their relationship, and to develop the partnership-building tools necessary to maintain open and honest communications.

SPICE is the result of numerous Tri-Ess members recognizing that being a crossdresser may be a very difficult thing to deal with personally, but being married to one is equally difficult, if not MORE so. From that acceptance of fact, came the vision to create a way to assist those women who seek to learn more and to find a way to cope. As numerous other groups have discovered, support groups work.

To keep the focus on women's concerns, absolutely NO crossdressing is allowed by those attending.

What does SPICE provide couples?

Trained therapists - SPICE provides local therapists whose practice includes families wherein crossdressing is a part. They present current information regarding crossdressing in today's society and the issues partnerships encounter when it enters their relationship.
Education - The education is focused on the attributes, effects, consequences and coping skills needed when women are confronted with and attempting to adjust to that unconventional phenomenon - crossdressing. So many wives and girlfriends of men (or vice versa) to whom it is revealed their need to crossdress are so nonplused, frightened, even threatened by the knowledge of the crossdressing, their personal values tend to spin precariously out of control.
Seminars - The seminars generally focus on developing open communications with honesty and trust. Establishing those characteristics being the objective, the therapists help the participants by providing ideas and tools to move existing communications methods to that next level.
Personal attention - The feelings being dealt with are really painful and painfully real for most of us. Each woman and man is listened to carefully and when they ask for guidance and/or advice, workable and realistic solutions are suggested. At the beginning, most are unwilling to reveal much and less willing to form friendships. However, after three days of weeping, agonizing, raging, and sharing, all are saddened at the ending of wondrous conversations and the comfortable sense of belonging and acceptance when the conference concludes Sunday afternoon.
Entertainment - For many partners, the only time her crossdressing mate does anything with other crossdressers, it is en femme. SPICE breaks that mold by not allowing crossdressing during the conference, but by providing entertainment and a "date" day, where everyone can share time out on the town enjoying the local flavor of the venue. Friendship - There is also friendship building between couples, which have the common ground of cross-dressing. Many lasting friendships have been formed as a result of attending SPICE.

Our primary focus is to educate the partners in a crossdressing relationship on ways to work with a crossdresser, rather than against. We do not try to indoctrinate an unsupportive spouse, nor do we take the stand that whatever the crossdresser wants to do is OK. We know that crossdressing can put quite a strain on a relationship, and we are here to help alleviate as much of that stress as possible so couples can learn to communicate better how they feel and thus hopefully learn to work through issues related to crossdressing when they come up. "But I have no need to attend SPICE, as my SO is supportive!" This is all the more reason to attend an event like SPICE. Every year there are spouses/partners attending who are fearful of the whole concept of crossdressing. They see it as threatening. By being able to see supportive spouses and solid relationships at an event like SPICE, the worried partner can see first hand that there is hope. Becuase this is a no crossdressing event, this is a wonderful time for a crossdresser to attend and show his partner that although he is a crossdresser he will put aside the feminine finery for 3 days to show her how much he cares for her and the relationship.

SPICE is still the only spouse-specific convention in the gender community. It needs the support of each chapter and each member of Tri-Ess to continue to make it a success.

S.P.I.C.E.

Sample menu:

About SPICE